


A Wicked Fight

by Sculpin



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: F/F, Humor, Musical References, diakko won't leave amanda alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25359130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sculpin/pseuds/Sculpin
Summary: Akko and Diana get into a very serious argument and enlist an unwilling Amanda to help them decide just exactly who is Elphaba and who is Glinda.
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari, Hannah England/Amanda O'Neill
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	A Wicked Fight

Amanda had hoped her Saturday would be nice and relaxing. She had planned to wake up at noon, eat a big lunch, and head out to ride her broom for the rest of the day, possibly joined by Hannah if the other girl could tear herself away from her school work. And things had started off great. There was already a beautiful, sunny day outside the window when Amanda had finally dragged herself out of bed, the room empty with both her roommates already off on their own adventures. When she arrived at the dining hall, she found they were serving sandwiches, one of her favorite types of food. As such, things boded well for the remainder of her day and she hummed thoughtlessly as she sat at one of the many vacant tables (most people had eaten by now) and started to tuck into two, very large, roast chicken sandwiches.

However, at Luna Nova Academy, plans rarely went undisrupted. Of course, Amanda was aware of this as she was usually the one causing the disruption, but this time the trouble was of a different maker.

“Amanda! There you are!”

The familiar shout of Akko Kagari rang out in the now nearly vacant cafeteria.

“Akko, don’t yell.”

And the typical accompanying reprimand from Diana Cavendish soon followed. Now, Amanda really did love her friends (including Diana though she was loath to admit it), but ever since the resident “Saviors of Magic” had started dating, they had been testing her patience with one thing after another. She looked up from her food to see the couple standing over her table.

“We’ve been waiting for you all morning!” Akko exclaimed, making no effort to lower her voice. “Help us settle something. We’re in the middle of an argument.”

Amanda sighed. “What else is new?”

“We do other things besides fight,”Akko protested.

“Hmm? Like what?”

“Like kissing!”

“Akko!” Diana hissed, reddening in embarrassment.

“Wow, fighting  _ and  _ kissing.” If Amanda could roll her eyes any harder, they would have completely detached from her head. “Congrats on such a wonderful relationship. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to return to my lunch while you go....somewhere else.”

She hoped that the other girls would take the hint and take their squabble elsewhere, but she seriously doubted that would be the case. Some time after they had started dating, she had been roped into playing the peacemaker whenever the couple fought, a job she had tried desperately to unload onto some other unsuspecting witch to no avail. Time and again they had come back to her to hash out every single little disagreement. So when Diana and Akko both decided to ignore her suggestion to leave and took seats across from her, Amanda wasn't mad. Just disappointed.

“This is going to be my whole day isn’t it,” she grumbled under her breath.

“What was that about your day?” asked Akko who, for some reason, had abnormally good hearing to go along with everything else that was abnormal about her. Amanda decided to ask her about it some other time. 

“I asked you what the argument is about,” she replied through a mouth full of sandwich. If she was going to have to sit here and listen to these idiots fight then dammit she was going to try to enjoy her meal at the same time.

Diana and Akko looked at each other as if to see who was going to begin talking, as if they didn’t already know Akko was always the first one to start things off.

“Well, you see, last night we went on a date to celebrate Friday because it was Friday and the end of the week and it was a long week with a lot of homework and we hadn’t gone out in a long time. We took the leyline to London to see a musical in the West Egg--”

“West End,” Diana corrected.

“That’s what I said.”

“No, you said--”

Amanda groaned. “Can you just get on with the story?”

“Anyways, as I was saying before Diana rudely interrupted,” Akko continued, earning a scathing look from her girlfriend, “We went to the West End because a while ago Diana asked if I had ever been to a musical and I said no I haven’t. So she got tickets for free because she had connections or something and we went to see my first ever musical ever! It was awesome! There was singing and dancing and, get this, there were even witches!”

Akko finished her spiel by throwing her arms up in excitement.

Amanda raised her eyebrows. “Witches? So you saw Wicked?”

“You know about Wicked?”

“I’m a lesbian, Akko, of course I know Wicked.”

“Right, well, after we got back to Luna Nova and were walking back to the dorms...”

  


_ “That was sooo cool wasn’t it, Diana? I never knew musicals had all that! The singing! The dancing! The witches!” _

_ “Not all musicals have witches, Akko.” _

_ Akko pouted, “I know that! I’m just saying I liked that it had witches. And magic!” _

_ “I knew you would enjoy the show,” Diana said, smiling. “Actually, I had the idea to take you to see it because you reminded me of Glinda.” _

  


_ “Oh yeah,” Akko nodded, “I’m totally Elph--wait, what?” _

  


_ “Akko, you have nothing in common with Elphaba,” Diana shrugged. “In fact, I think I may be more of an Elphaba. You seem more like a dumb poopyhead to me.” _

“Akko!” Diana protested. “I absolutely did not call you that.”

She turned to Amanda. “I didn’t call her that.”

“Yeah, somehow that seems out of character for you,” Amanda said dryly. “So that’s it then? You guys are fighting over who’s Elphaba and who’s Glinda? Doesn’t seem that difficult to sort out.”

“Yeah, it wouldn’t be if only Diana would admit I’m Elphaba and not Glinda,” Akko crossed her arms with a pointed look at her girlfriend.

Diana pinched the bridge of her nose in a sigh.

“And I would gladly admit as such if it were a fact. But as it were, I still believe I personally most resemble Elphaba’s character while Akko is definitely a Glinda.”

In her vast experience in dealing with Akko and Diana’s relationship, Amanda had distilled the root of most, if not all, of their arguments. They were just both extremely and unabashedly stubborn. Diana, a staunch believer in the immutability of facts, would never compromise if she felt she was in the right. While Akko, well she just never gave up on anything regardless. There was no taking the high road between them which meant Amanda’s job was that much worse. She quickly finished off her first sandwich in what felt like an effort to strengthen her patience.

“So neither of you want to be Glinda,” she mused as she started on the second sandwich. “What’s so bad about being Glinda?”

Akko shrugged. “I mean, isn’t she kinda, I dunno... airheaded?”

“Yeah, and so are you,” Amanda said teasingly.

Akko gasped and looked at Diana in shock, as if she had been the one to suggest such a thing.

“Amanda!” Diana chastised. “Akko is not airheaded.” Turning to Akko, the blonde continued, “What I mean is that, like Glinda, you are more of a free spirit. Friendly and cheerful. While I am more serious and reserved.”

“Hmm, these are all good points,” said Amanda, nodding in agreement. She could see where Diana was coming from with Akko’s bubbly personality. And it was true that Diana did have a stick up her ass just like Elphaba. But she could see that Akko was chomping at the bit to say something so she gestured towards her friend. “Miss Kagari, your rebuttal?”

“Oh, I’m gonna rebutt alright!” Akko rolled up her sleeves. “Please direct your attention to Exhibit A.”

Amanda looked around then immediately felt foolish for doing so. Of course, Akko wouldn’t have real physical evidence.

“What are we supposed to be look--”

“The song titled ‘Popular’,” Akko said, ignoring the interruption. “In the song, Glinda teaches Elphaba how to be popular since she was a ‘depressing creature with unprepossessing features.’ Meaning Glinda is liked by everyone while Elphaba is an outcast. It’s just like when I first came to Luna Nova and nobody liked me and everyone made fun of me.”

“Wow, uh, that’s kinda sad.”

“Yes, I sincerely apologize for any hardships you may have faced.”

“No!” Akko whined. “That’s not the point. The point is I’m right! I’m the upstart outsider who went against the system! The rogue witch who cast off the shackles of tyranny and proved her self worth and independence!”

“Okay, no need to get a big head.”

“That  _ is _ a bit much, Akko.”

As Akko and Diana descended into a squabble about the exact definition of tyranny, Amanda had to admit that she pretty much had done exactly what she’d described. Akko had turned the magical world on its head and, in saving humanity, flown higher than anyone before. Amanda smirked to herself. Akko really did defy gravity. Though the brunette’s powers of flight were short lived and she now had trouble hovering on a broom for more than a minute.

“What about when you lent me your hat? Just like Glinda!”

“You have two versions of your name. Coincidentally, so does Glinda!”

“You suck up to authority figures. Glinda!”

“You make bad choices. Glinda!”

“Oh yeah? Well you’re  _ blonde _ !”

“Alright, alright, let’s not get too personal here,” Amanda said, tapping the table for attention. The two arguing witches fell silent and looked at her expectantly, both out of breath and faces red. She really didn’t want things to get to the point where they might break up. Not that she cared about their relationship, but she had a feeling they would come crawling to her to patch it up again. Plus she’d finished her meal and wanted to leave this mess behind.

“Look, I can see where you each are coming from,” she began, “but it seems to me that you forgot what Wicked was all about. Do you guys remember the scene near the end, just after Glinda goes all the way to Kiamo Ko to warn Elphaba about the people coming to kill her? Elphaba gives Glinda the Grimmerie and they say goodbye for the last time. Do you remember what song they sing?”

Akko and Diana glanced at each other then back at Amanda.

“I’ve heard it said,” Akko started singing.

“That people come into our lives,” Diana joined in.

“For a rea--”

“Okay, so you remember,” she held up a hand to interrupt. Why did they cooperate only at the weirdest times? Another mystery of Diakko. “And what do they both say? ‘I’m who I am today because I knew you.’ So yes you are both Glinda. But you’re also both Elphaba, too. You aren’t one or the other because, like Glinda and Elphaba, you both have learned from one and changed the other for good. And you will carry that experience with you like a handprint on your heart. Look, I’m running out of lines from the song, do ya get it or not?”

“That was beautiful, Amanda,” Akko sniffled and dove across the table to drag her into a crushing hug.

Amanda felt Diana envelope the both of them. “Yes, you are unexpectedly wise.”

“Yeah, yeah, and you guys are ‘unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe.’ Now get off me,” she grumbled as they let her go. “I’ve got places to be.”

Akko sat back down and grinned, quirking an eyebrow. “You know what? You never told us which Wicked character  _ you _ identify as, Amanda!”

“Pssh, I’m Fiyero,” she replied instantly, “I’m always Fiyero. Always keeping cool and dancing through life.”

Diana made her typical “Diana” face. The unpleasant one that meant she was about to say something smug and/or condescending. 

Amanda sighed. “What is it?”

“Isn’t Fiyero brainless?”

Akko burst out laughing.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Amanda rolled her eyes. “But at the end he gets the girl. At the end, he runs away with Elphaba.” 

She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

That sobered Akko up quickly. “I’m sorry, Diana. You can be Elphaba if you want.”

“No, no, I insist, Akko.”

“Wow, I don’t have to sit here and take this,” Amanda stood abruptly. You try to be good, you try to help people and they turn around and make fun of you. Where was the thanks? Where was gratitude? “See ya later, witches!”

They didn’t hear her as she walked away since they were now too busy arguing who had to elope with her. She sighed inwardly. Some people just never changed. At least she and Hannah would never sink to the level of fighting over such ridiculous things.

  


* * *

  


Diana set the basket of pastries down on the plaid blanket spread out beneath the tree. She and Akko had decided to spend the afternoon having a picnic on the school grounds. It was a perfect day to be outside, the sun bright and cheerful, a slight breeze rustling the grass. Days like these were best spent with important people, people like her girlfriend who had just stuffed an entire muffin into her mouth.

“Slow down or you’ll choke.”

“Mmphm.”

She didn’t get the chance to decipher what Akko had tried to say because an extremely loud and grating voice shouted from across the small meadow.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you guys!” A very frazzled looking Amanda quickly closed the distance, coming to a breathless halt and hunching over with her hands on her knees

“Can we help you?” Diana asked.

“Yeah, actually you can. Remember your fight last Friday?”

“Of course. We eventually--”

“Yeah, I don’t care,” Amanda waved her off. “You gotta come with me. Like now.”

Akko frowned. “What happened?”

“Well, it all started last night when Hannah and I watched Beauty and the Beast…”

**Author's Note:**

> A short story because I'm procrastinating on my other story.


End file.
